


Dumb Pointy Anime Neighs

by baneofboredom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, PWP, Size Kink, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:33:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baneofboredom/pseuds/baneofboredom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk and Equius meet up to talk about robots and stuff. A pair of broken shades leads the two of them to Equius's room. Sex happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dumb Pointy Anime Neighs

“Oh my… This not very proper…” The noble troll said as he stood in front of the door. “I do not think that I should be spending this amount of time with you unaccompanied…” He said letting out a little huff of air as his grey complexion turned bluer. “I… I am unsure about all of this…”

“We don’t have to you know.” Equius couldn’t see behind those pointy shades, but he could feel the smirk burning into his sweating form. 

“No. I promised. It would be ignoble for me to abandon our meeting.” 

“It’s not like this is a date or anything.” Equius dropped his wrench. 

“Uhm… No. I guess it isn’t.”

“Ha, do you want it to be?” Dirk asked, a wry smile twisting his face. He let a thin fingered hand grace Equius’s strong shoulder. The blue blood’s expression blanched before flushing a deep blue as sweat started pouring off of him. “Be careful… I might just have to take that as a yes.” Dirk said walking away with a swish in his hips.

“Yes.” 

“What?” 

“Yes. I want it to be a date… Please.” Equius said. Even from behind the cracked sunglasses, Dirk knew the troll wasn’t making eye contact. Something about his posture made that evident. 

“Then let’s go.” Dirk said as he turned to walk away. The swish in his hips was there, but this time it was accompanied by flushed cheeks and by him nervously grabbing Equius’s equally nervous hand. 

Oh my god… Dirk thought to himself. I am holding someone’s hand. Sure, it isn’t my initial pick, but hey. He is still really fucking hot. And his nervousness is pretty adorable. Not to mention we practically have the same interests. And with a build like that he must be packing something impressive… Woah Dirk, slow your roll… This is the first date… Don’t be thinking those thoughts yet…

Wait. This human is holding my hand. Is this normal? Also, I don’t appear to be breaking his bones yet… So, he is stronger than he looks? This is promising. Progressing further would be nearly impossible if he weren’t stronger. How would we… Equius’s face flushed a deep blue after having only just regained its previous grey tone. “So what are we going to do…” Equius fumbled for what to call him. It didn’t seem right to call him by his name, nor did he have another title to call him. 

“Dude, just call me Dirk.” He said filling in the obvious blank left by Equius. 

“Okay then… Dirk?” 

“Yes?” 

“What are we going to do Dirk?” 

“Well, we could get lunch, talk a while. Maybe kiss a little. See what happens.” Equius froze in his tracks at Dirk’s suggestion. Lunch was fine. Talking, probably a good idea. But… Kissing? Isn’t it early for that? Maybe not in human worlds. 

“It sounds like a… Plan.” Equius started walking again. Dirk stood a good head shorter than him, but he still felt mildly intimidated by him. The human’s calm cool demeanor kept Equius off guard. He wasn’t used to someone being so devoid of emotions. 

Dirk was internally screaming. He had just spent most of his life alone in an apartment in the middle of the ocean. He didn’t know he was so desperate for human contact… Well, living being contact. He didn’t count as human contact… Did he? Dirk didn’t have time for this. He had a hot piece of man, well… troll, on his arm and he didn’t want to waste any time. 

“Dirk?” 

“Shit… Sorry, I got distracted.”

“I was just wondering where we would spend our time.”

“Oh wherever… I guess I’m not very hungry though…”

“Nor am I. So to the talking?”

“That was the next thing on the list.” 

“Where shall we talk?”

“Well, my room won’t have us being interrupted every five minutes.”

“But… That is so improper.” 

“Dude, we’re just gonna talk.” Dirk said with a slight chuckle. “It’s not like I’m going to savage you the moment I get you alone.” Equius stopped again. 

“Uhm…” 

“That was a joke Equius.” 

“I… I realize that.” He adjusted his broken glasses, but in his stressed emotional state, he snapped the bridge of his glasses. The bits of broken plastic fell into Equius’s hands as he turned his gaze down, but not before Dirk caught a glimpse of those perfect blue orbs. “Fiddlesticks.” Equius said holding the broken pieces of his glasses in his hands. “Pardon my language.” 

“I’ll let it slide this time bitch, but it better not fucking happen again.” Dirk said in an offhanded manner. 

“Yes, Master.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“I mean…” 

“Oh?” Dirk quirked one of his elegantly groomed eyebrow. 

“Uhm…” 

“This is an interesting development.” 

“I… Is there anything else you want, Sir?” 

“Yes. Indeed there is Equius my sweet. Please go back to calling me Master. It feels more my style. And a change of plans. We will be going to your room now. Not mine.” Dirk said walking away. It was only now that he dropped Equius’s hand. 

“Yes, Master.” Equius, head bowed, followed closely behind him. 

It was a short distance to Equius’s room, but to Dirk it felt like a lifetime. He couldn’t believe his cool-kid act had led him to this! Not that he was really complaining, but he didn’t expect to have gotten such a rush off of ordering Equius around. It had never occurred to him that he’d be into this kind of thing. Sure he’d heard of it before and even thought about how he’d fit into it, but he’d always expected to be the submissive. But man if ordering around this big blue hunk of troll didn’t send shivers right through his body stopping at his groin. 

They finally entered Equius’s room and Dirk took a moment to adjust to the darkness. “Isn’t there a light in here?” 

“Yes Master. Let me get that for you.” Equius hit the light switch and dim lights barely lit the area. 

“Why do you keep it so dark in here?” 

“I have problems with bright lights…”

“Oh, that’s why you wear the sunglasses?” 

“Yes, Master.” Equius said. He stood by the wall where the light switch was with his head bowed. 

“Over here.” Dirk said pointing. He was wracking his brain for something to call Equius that would degrade him, but he was having difficulty thinking of something suitably  
hurtful, but not so mean as to ruin the sexy vibe he was getting. 

Equius scurried over to where Dirk pointed and kneeled. 

“Did I tell you to kneel, bitch?” Equius stood quickly. 

“No Master. You did not.” 

“Damn right I didn’t.” Dirk grabbed the chair from Equius’s desk and pulled it over in front of Equius. “Now, take of those clothes. And don’t control your strength. I wanna see them rip.” He said smirking. Now not only was Equius acting against his habits, but he was also breaking things. That was good and dominating, right? 

“Yes, Master.” Equius grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. About half way through that action though, the shirt started ripping. It tore into two ragged pieces and Dirk couldn’t help but gasp. The muscle groups on Equius’s torso were beautifully defined. They stood in stark relief under his grey skin which only served to highlight the differences between human anatomy and troll anatomy. Dirk noticed a slight difference with the ribs, despite the meat on his bones, he could still clearly see each bone of Equius’s ribcage. That was the only big difference, everything else was minor stuff. 

“Wow…” 

“Does something please you, Master?” 

“You could say that. But then I didn’t tell you to speak did I?” Dirk snapped. “Now keep taking off those clothes.” He really hoped his apprehension didn’t show in his voice as Equius began working on his pants. He didn’t know very much about troll biology, and considering the fact that there were only minor differences so far, he was hoping for a miracle at this point. That trolls didn’t have some completely incompatible thing down there. He issued a slight thanks when Equius removed his pants and dirk could see a very human looking dick standing at attention in front of him. 

His thanks was short lived however when he took in the sheer size of it. It appeared Equius’s love of horses might have been for a familiar bond, because Dirk knew there had to be some sort of equine creature in the troll’s lineage for him to be that well equipped. He began to notice one slight difference. Equius’s straining troll-hood had ridges along the underside of it. “Come closer bitch. I want to examine my toy.” He said with a smirk. Equius took the few steps needed to bring him directly in front of Dirk.

Up close Equius’s cock seemed even larger. It was a little less than the length of his forearm and at least as wide as his wrist. “Do you have measurements for this sad excuse for a dick, bitch?” Dirk barked. 

“Yes, Master. It is 11.5 inches in length and 1.5 inches in diameter.” 

Dirk couldn’t help but let out a breathless “Damn…” when he heard the stats. It was impressive. He reached out a tentative hand and ran it along the length. Equius let out a deep rumble in his chest that continued for longer than Dirk expected. Wait, was he purring? That is fucking perfect. “You like that bitch?”

“Yes, Master.” 

Dirk kept up the stroking for a while. He found out soon that each little ridge was really sensitive, which was wonderful for teasing purposes. The head was also really sensitive, which he expected. He didn’t see a circumcision scar, nor did he see a foreskin, which made him wonder if they had them at all. Dirk thought Equius was going to snap when he leaned over and gave it a small peck on the head. “Now.” Dirk said leaning back in his chair. “It is your turn. Kneel.” 

Equius dropped to his knees, his hands staying loose at his sides, awaiting orders. “Take off my pants, but don’t rip them. And try not to sweat on them too much.” It was odd though. For someone normally so sweaty, Equius sure was staying oddly dry at this point. 

“Yes, Master.” Equius gingerly undid the buttons on Dirk’s jeans and slid down the zipper. Dirk was glad to have some of the restriction removed from his dick. It had been getting awfully cozy in there, sure he wasn’t a mammoth like Equius but he still felt he was a respectable size. 8 inches is nothing to scoff at! Once Equius had his underwear down, Dirk grabbed him by the head and pulled his face into his crotch. 

“Now suck, Bitch.” 

“Yes, Master.” Came Equius’s muffed reply as he opened his mouth to take in Dirk’s cock. It wasn’t until he was slipping his cock into Equius’s mouth that he paused to think about the jagged teeth that looked more than ready to lacerate a penis. Apparently Equius had thought of that though and was being extra careful. Dirk was about to give thanks, but when Equius started moving his tongue around Dirk’s dick, he lost all capabilities of thinking. 

“Damn, that’s good. Keep that up Bitch.” Dirk said, pushing Equius’s head further down on his cock. He knew it was only because Equius liked being ordered around that he could even move him at all. Dirk really appreciated it though as Equius took more and more of his dick into his mouth. The troll didn’t put up any resistance as he slipped Dirk’s penis into his throat. Equius kept up the purring and once Dirk entered the troll’s throat he could feel the vibrations from the purring coursing through his dick. “Oh god!” He cried pushing hard on Equius’s head. Dirk found himself getting far too close far too soon. “Off!” He ordered and Equius pulled himself off of Dirks manhood, though he looked back at it with longing in his eyes. 

“Did I displease you, Master?” 

“No. In fact, you were pleasing me too much.” Dirk said running his hand over Equius’s sweat dampened hair. Equius leaned into the gentle touch before finding himself pulled into what would be a bruising kiss for someone who wasn’t as strong as he was. Teeth clashed and tongues fought for dominance, albeit half-heartedly on Equius’s side. He knew where he stood, or knelt, in this equation. And he was ecstatic that he’d finally found someone that could put him in that position. 

“What is it your request, Master?” Equius asked, his eyes concentrating on the ground.

“Bend over the table there.” Dirk said, trying to control his emotions. It was hard, since he’d never really had companionship for so much of his life, then his one-time boyfriend and crush of several years turned out to be a dick, and now he has this hot piece of bara troll following his every command. It was quite the emotional rollercoaster. His hands trailed over Equius’s pert backside, giving it a light slap. 

“Master?” 

“Yes?”

“Harder please? I had trouble feeling that…”

“Oh.” Dirk said with a smirk. He pulled his sheathed sword from its sylladex and swung it through the air in a beautiful arc. It struck soundly across Equius’s ass with a loud satisfying crack. “Is that better?” The only response Equius could give was a whimper. He ran his gloved hand over the rapidly deepening blue mark that stretched across the perfect globes of grey flesh before him. He chuckled and swung again, at a slightly different angle. He wanted to see the beautiful lattice taking shape before his eyes. Equius grunted again and began purring again. 

Equius wanted to say something to his Master. To ask him to go faster, or to move on to something else. Something, more intimate. Something… Deeper.

“Do you like this, Bitch?” 

“Yes Master.”

“Then you’ll love this.” Equius felt a finger run between his ass cheeks, grazing his nook. 

Dirk was confused, it felt different from what he expected, but not terribly so. It was still the same basic principal, but… At the same time, it had a great temperature difference. It was warmer than the rest of Equius, not by a lot, but by enough for Dirk to notice. He attempted to slide in a finger, but the resistance was too great. “Come on, babe. Relax.”

“Uhm… Master?”

“Yes?”

“I am relaxed.” 

Dirk’s head fell against the table next to Equius. ‘Dammit.’ He thought, ‘I was afraid of that.’ He grimaced slightly as he wracked his brain for alternate solutions, and none that were coming to mind were really all that feasible. “Well then, do you have any ideas?”

“Not really Master.” 

‘If it weren’t for his size I would just ride him till next week, but damn, he is too big… And all of his muscles are too strong for me to top.’ Dirk was feeling more and more hopeless. “Wait a second.” He said as he stood up. “Lay down on the floor.” 

“Yes Master.” Equius sprang to his feet and lay down on his back. 

“Now, open wide.” Dirk lowered himself onto Equius, his dick entering that warm, wet mouth of his and let out a groan. He brought himself face to face with Equius’s cock. He licked it come to reacquaint himself with the size of it before stretching his mouth as far as he could and attempting to take it in. He could, but just barely. It tasted about how he expected it to. Salty, warm, delicious. But then there was that taste he couldn’t quite place. It was the taste that was driving him insane as he tried to get more of the massive dick into his eager mouth. But, he just couldn’t get past the head. So, he busied himself with licking around the deep blue tip while his hands got themselves busy as well. One started stroking the vast expanse of cock that his mouth couldn’t reach, and the other reached further down to roll the heavy testicles in a delicate grip.

It came to no surprise that Equius was approaching his climax rather quickly. “Don’t you dare come before me.” Dirk’s voice was frigid and Equius whimpered slightly. Dirk, despite his command didn’t let up in his ministrations. It wasn’t a great surprise when Equius tensed up. His moans sent delicious vibrations through Dirk, and his hands left Equius’s shaft and clenched into his hair instead. His release flooded Equius’s mouth, causing the large troll to cough for a moment before clearing his throat and swallowing thickly. 

“That was amazing.” Dirk said. He moved himself off of Equius and sat back on his haunches. “Now what to do about you.” He said, running a lazy hand over Equius’s dick. “You know… I could just leave you like this.” That earned an incredibly pathetic whimper from the troll in his hand. Dirk rolled his eyes and started sucking on the head of Equius’s cock with all of his strength. His hands worked furiously and he finally felt Equius tense up. He moved back quickly, because he’d heard tale from Rose about how much they release when they orgasm. He really liked breathing, but that was still compromised when the flood of blue washed over his face. He chuckled lightly wiping his eyes, thanking god that it didn’t sting like semen. 

“You didn’t ask for a bucket?” 

“Well… No. There was only one troll. There wasn’t a need for one.” Equius explained. “Also, you were doing too many wonderful things for me to even think about taking the time to find a bucket.” 

Dirk blushed and smirked. “Thanks for the compliment, lovely.” He said running a hand down Equius’s sweaty chest. “But I feel like we both need a couple of towels.” He said laughing. 

Equius’s face was stained a deep blue. “Of course… Master?” 

“Of course… Bitch.” 

Then they shared one single lovely kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> So... This is my first fanfic EVAR. Uhm... comments are appreciated. It was written for milkydayy.tumblr.com for their birthday and is frightfully late! Sorry darling!


End file.
